MOCK TRIAL

[mostwantedfrog]

[Once the house has been thoroughly investigated, Constantine appears again, his pet penguin following close behind him.]

You have found all that you have needed? Excellent. Now, you must come with me to the basement--it is time for a trial.

[He hops away, and if you follow him into the basement, you'll notice that the boarded-up hole in the wall has been cleared away to reveal a winding tunnel. It's not very big--the humans might have to crawl in order to get in. Once you've gotten through the tunnel, you'll find yourself in a massive cave, filled with stalactites and stalagmites. Boober might recognize it. The rocks here have been haphazardly rearranged to resemble a circular trial room. Constantine himself jumps up onto a very high stack of rocks off to the side, staying out of harm's reach.]

Now, your job is to find whoever killed--eugh, what was her name--Carolina or something. The chicken. If you find out who did it and vote for them, the murderer will be destroyed, and you will all go free. But if you get it wrong, which I am fully expecting....

[Constantine chuckles to himself.]

I will destroy you all, and finally take my revenge on all you Mappets.

[He sits back a little, waiting for the discussion to start.]

[TRIAL START!]

Comments

[its_not_fair]

If we get it wrong you kill all of us? But... That's not fair!

[mostwantedfrog]

I do not care if you do not think it is fair, little girl. It is much more exciting for me.

[biggerbadge]

[He seems a bit taken aback by that.]

You fiend-!

[muppetlabs]

[Towards Sarah-]

He's tried that before, but was unsuccessful had it not been for my invention.

Isn't that right, Mr. Constantine?

[muppetlabs]

Alright folks, let's talk evidence.

[Bunsen adjusts his glasses and clears his throat, ready to present his gruesome findings.]

There was a blood trail leading from the kitchen to the dining room, where some heartless murderer left our dear fowl friend for dead.

Camilla's body was found decapitated, with her head lying not too far from the scene. In the same room was a knife, most likely the murder weapon.

Also included in the scene for some reason was a slightly damaged Funko pop of one of us: Sarah.

[tobeginwith]

Well then, that settles that! Sarah did it. Kermit, we’re ready to vote!

[muppetlabs]

Not so fast, Mr. Chickens. I know you're upset, but we need all the evidence first before jumping to conclusions!

[its_not_fair]

[Priorities. Sarah clears her throat, trying to keep her voice from shaking before she adds]

Jareth and I looked in the attic. The figures of all of us were all messed up, not lined up like they were before. It also looked like someone had been going through the other boxes up there.

[She pauses, not wanting to say the next bit... But she knows if she doesn't she'll just look more guilty.]

And... Um... The figure that looks like me was missing...

[asksforsolittle]

In fact, since Jean's the only other one tall enough to have reached the shelf which was meddled with, it's entirely possible the boxes had been stacked to reach it.

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

[Speaking of the kitchen, Monty also has some evidence to present. Not out of any particular care for the law, but mostly to avoid any suspicions towards him.]

Someone stole a knife, and chicken feed, but there was a bowl of the stuff in the middle of the room. It was in a big mess all over the floor.

[Mr. Arrow would've had a heart attack.]

[sockluck]

[Boober raises his hand nervously.]

Excuse me, but what is a Funko pop? It sounds important.

[sockluck]

You... what have you done to the tunnel?!

[Boober is shaking. Renovations aren't all that unusual in Fraggle Rock, but this - this is a perversion. He'd been so excited to see the hole cleared, but this wasn't home.]

You tried to make us kill each other, and now you do this? Disgusting.

[Anger is a rare feeling for Boober - usually he defaults to fear or annoyance. He takes a seat, unfamiliar in a familiar space, still shaking.]

...

[mostwantedfrog]

I improved it. It is now fit for a trial.

Catherding!

[asksforsolittle]

[Jareth is getting tired of all this finger-pointing. it's worse than trying to get the goblins to agree on anything or actually be productive, and if they don't curb it by the end of the day, they're all going to be dead, whether it be by knife, lack of drinking Wilkins Coffee, or any other means]

So what do we actually know? Not just things that certain people are making up because they think they'd make a good story.

[its_not_fair]

We know that a figure of me was used to kill Camilla... and I didn't do it.

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

Something happened in the kitchen...a knife was taken and so was chicken feed, but it was also in a bowl on the floor.

...Maybe they interrupted her dinner?

[vicholas]

Well Mr. Elf King, when I was in the kitchen I found two things, maybe they'd be useful!

[its_not_fair]

Everyone! Whoever killed Camilla probably got blood on them and maybe got pecked by her or something during the fight.

[She looks around

Everyone should show their shirt sleeves and arms, so we can see if anyone has any blood or injuries.

[She looks over at Dickens] He's already shown me his.

[Her white shirt is pristine and she pushes her sleeves up to her elbows to show her arms are just as clean and bandage free.]

VOTING

[mostwantedfrog]

Aaaaanyway, this date [Gestures at Bunsen and Jean] is all very good and fine, but also it is time for you all to condemn your culprit to death.

Please, write down your votes on the papers in front of you.

[Сашка waddles up to each person to give them all a piece of notebook paper and a crayon. Look, your host's gotta work with what he has available.]

[its_not_fair]

[As if there's any question at this point. Sarah carefully writes JEAN on the paper and drops it in the hat.]

[asksforsolittle]

[Jareth isn't a detective. he isn't really very good at this. really he only kept up the interrogation because he loves a good musical number. he takes the only crayon in the box with glitter in it, and doodles in the edges, frowning. if only he had his powers, he'd know for sure. something about this, about that feeling in the attic, feels wrong. but Jean has already confessed. doesn't that make it finished? if it is, they can go. if it isn't, they're all dead. he looks around the room, considering it all. the feed. the blood. the figurines... and then he realizes that Jean would have been in the attic, too. maybe whatever that strange feeling was got to him in a different way. he takes a deep breath and slowly writes "Jonn" on his paper, then folds it in half]

[tobeginwith]

[Dickens, on the other hand, has absolutely no qualms about voting off Jean because good narrative twist or not he still murdered Dicken's love interest, the fuck]

JEAN

[willheorwonthekins]

[Wilkins has drawn a disturbingly realistic picture of Jean boiling alive in a cup of Wilkins Coffee™. He smiles.]

Here you go!

EXECUTION: NO MORE QUESTIONS. 1/2

[mostwantedfrog]

[Constantine grins, reading over the votes.]

Wonderful, wonderful. Where is your "defender of the law" shtick now? Ha! ... So now lies the matter of how to kill you.

[[plankton voice] i never thought i'd get this far]

Hm... let me think, let me think... I know!

[He pulls out... a can. Of Wilkins Coffee™.]

You see, I clearly had cunning plan in mind when I left little coffee demon alive. It is this. This is plan.

[He honestly just got the can so he could prevent Wilkins from killing him in his sleep.]

Ok, little frog. You want this? Then, go get him.

Destroy him.

[He gestures to Jean.

With a bloodcurdling shriek of delight, Wilkins leaps onto Jean's back, clawing his grimy muppet hands into Jean's skin. Wilkins begans scratching with wild abandon, tearing Jean's suit to tatters. He's a whirlwind of flailing limbs, but if you pay attention, there's definitely blood on his hands and splatter in the air...

And then...]

2/2

[mabear]

[There's a voice from the tunnel, muttering and complaining. A familiar one, to most Muppets who've been to these reunions before.]

...kitchen's a mess, and absolutely no one around to clean it up! You'd think a whirlwind had gone through the whole house....

[The voice keeps getting closer, and eventually, an elderly-looking bear in sunglasses crawls out of the tunnel. And boy, is she pissed.]

AHA! There you are! What on earth have you done to my house?! There's blood everywhere in the kitchen, there's a headless chicken in the room, and you've absolutely ruined my Funko Pop collection! And now this? Whatever that...thing is. You boys better be ready to explain yourselves!

[She lowers her sunglasses to view the scene before her.]