MOCK TRIAL WEEK

[themuppeteers]

[Constantine Kermit the Frog has revealed his true motives for bringing you all here. What was once a warm and welcoming house has now become your prison, encased in five feet of snow. If it's any comfort, be glad that the heater and electricity still seem to be working. For now. Perhaps searching for an escape route would be in your best interests.

Let's just hope no one gets stir crazy and tries to kill someone else, hm?]

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY]

((ooc: this is the week log for the mock trial! tuesday-onwards is locked until the motive is posted. on friday, an investigation log will be posted, and a trial will commence on saturday (in-game friday). backtagging is encouraged! have fun!))

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TUESDAY

[themuppeteers]

MOTIVE: 1/3

[mostwantedfrog]

[Good morning! Your lovely bastard host is here to say hello! And to chastise you for not following his directions.]

So.

I cannot help but notice there have been no killings. This is directly against my rulings that I gave you, which specifically said that I wanted you all to kill one other.

Maybe freedom is not enough incentive for you alls? Maybe Keeermit the frog must do more to get you to commit the bloodsheds.

I have... [Constantine just starts digging through his pockets which not only exist, somehow, but are at just the right angle that you can't actually see them, so it looks like he's pulling everything from thin air.]

Let's see, a 2$ bill? An orange Lifesaver... A ball of yarn... No, no, this won't work, this is all too important for me to part with.

What is it that you people want?

... If you stick with me? I can get you what you want.

[Oh no.

Where's that music coming from. Oh God, why is this happening why is Constantine wearing that outfit now-]

MOTIVE: 2/3

[mostwantedfrog]

Baby, stop right there.
Let me clear the air.
Baby, look into these eyes.
Let me apologize.
I know what you're thinking of.
You think, "Where is the love?"
But the love ain't gone.
It's here where it belongs.

[where did that breeze come from and why is there a jar of vaseline-]

I know what you're waiting for...
Well, you don't need to wait no more!

[since when has there been a hatch in the ceiling of the living room and since when did emily bear get a fucking disco ball???? Constantine is dancing now, by the way.]

I can give you anything you want-
Give you anything you ne-ee-eeed!
I'll make your dreams come true.
Give you anything you want.
Fulfill your fantasi-ii-ii-iies...
I'll make your dreams come true.

[He slips off to the side for a moment, and you may think you're free now. Nope. Where the fuck did he get that unicorn from.]

You want a unicorn?
I'll give it to you.
You want a puppy dog?
I'll give it to you.
You want an ice cream cone?
I'll give it to you.
You want a mortgage loan?
I'll give it to you.
You want a satin pillow?
I'll give it to you.
You want an armadillo?
I'll give it to you.
You want a diamond ring?
I'll give it to you.
You want a thingy-thing?
I'll give it to you.

[He's been passing these things out to everyone, one at a time. Have fun with that. Jean's new armadillo is already trying to struggle away from him.]

I know what you're waiting for...
Well, you don't need to wait no more!

I can give you anything you want-
Give you anything you ne-ee-eeed!
I'll make your dreams come true.
Give you anything you want.
Fulfill your fantasi-ii-ii-iies...
I'll make your dreams come true.

[Back to passing shit out. Don't ask me how the hell he fits a car into this tiny living room, let alone manages to hand it to Boober Fraggle, I'm just the bracket text.]

You want a taste of fame?
I'll give it to you.
You want a little cupcake?
I'll give it to you.
You want a cockatoo?
I'll give it to you.
You want a kangaroo?
I'll give it to you.
You want a brand new car?
I'll give it to you.
You want a Hollywood star?
I'll give it to you.
You want to go to the moon?

[He winces.]

...Ooh. I'll see what I can do.

I know what you're waiting for...
Well, you don't need to wait no more!

MOTIVE: 3/3

[mostwantedfrog]

[The music is swelling, and at this point he's dancing with. Everyone, one at a time. He'll spend a few seconds with one person/muppet and immediately moves on to the next, dropping the previous one like a sack of potatoes. Hopefully not literally.]

I can give you anything you want-
Give you anything you ne-ee-eeed!
I'll make your dreams come true.
Give you anything you want.
Fulfill your fantasi-ii-ii-iies...
I'll make your dreams come truuuuuu-uuuuuuuue...

I'm sayin' cockatoo.
Yeah. (Kangaroo)

[Where is that voice coming from. Who are these background singers.]

Ooh. (In Malibu)

[THERE IT WAS AGAIN]

I'll give it to you.
I'll make your dreams come true.
(Cockatoo)Cockatoo. (Kangaroo)Kangaroo. In Malibu(Malibu).
I'll make your dreams come true...

[The music comes to an end. Constantine is standing there expectantly, as if he wants you all to immediately kill each other for his amusement after that 3 minutes of... something.

By the way, all his "gifts" are still here. They're permanent. Decide amongst yourselves who gets what, but Boober is definitely getting the car and Jean just has an armadillo now.]

[swedishchef]

[...The Swedish Chef is holding a little cupcake now. He sniffs it, then the cupcake disappears into his mouth.]

Mmmmm. Cækk dë cüppëë.

[Does he even know what's going on right now?]

[muppetlabs]

[Either he's an amnesiac or he genuinely hasn't heard this song and dance before]

Mr. Kermit do you take constructive criticism?

[sockluck]

...

[Boober has never seen most of these objects. He can't even begin to parse what this strange vehicle he's been shoved into is, nevermind the fact that he can't reach the pedals.]

...

[He's hyperventilating a little, but manages to compose himself.]

...can I have that cupcake?

im sorry im gonna have to talk to myself for a minute i promise theres a reason

[willheorwonthekins]

... Anything, huh?

Including Wilkins Coffee™?

Memorial

[muppetlabs]

[The rest of the events that follow feel like a blur to Bunsen. Swedish Chef was important to Beaker and therefore him as well, so the scientist takes it upon himself to hold a wake.

So, here he is, clad in black and still holding Beaker Jr. Somehow there's food prepared for this memorial? Alright.]

Thank you for coming, everyone. We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our beloved Swedish Chef. He was one of the greatest--

[You know what, no one wants to hear this. And since Bunsen's monologue has nothing to do with science, let's just clip through the part he ends his speech and starts bawling. Good? Good. Feel free to help yourselves to some food.]

[its_not_fair]

[Sarah wipes tears from her eyes and moves to give Bunsen a hug]

That was beautiful.

[muppetlabs]

[There's an incoherent 'thank you,' as he sobs and hugs back. Beaker Jr. does nothing but offer comforting licks and yips to both of them in return.]

[asksforsolittle]

[Jareth went and changed into the black silk shirt he'd brought. It's a little fancy for a memorial, but he wasn't expecting to have to attend one, so there you go. he sighs. the Cockatoo is perched on his shoulder, nigh indistinguishable from his hair]

This is ridiculous. No one should have died to begin with.

[its_not_fair]

[Sarah stood next to him, her hands clasped in front of her. She... didn't own anything black. But she knew that some traditions used white to symbolize morning, so she wore her white dress. Also fancy, but it was either that or jeans.]

This was supposed to be a party... [She wiped tears from her eyes]

[willheorwonthekins]

[The demon is here, perched on the snack table.]

Hiiiiiii there. Noticed you don't seem to have any Wilkins Coffee™ here at your table. Might wanna rethink that.

[:)]

[muppetlabs]

I- Uh- Hm. I could've sworn I put it there. That's odd.

[YOU BETTER NOT...NOT AROUND BEAKER JR.]

[its_not_fair]

[And the award for best bad decisions goes to.......

Sarah! She glares at the little whatever he is]

You have some nerve coming here after what you did!

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

[Monty shoves his face full of free food, slightly uncomfortable by...uh...whatever that was. He's dealing with it.

When Bunsen begins- and abruptly ends his speech- he turns around. Startled, and feeling pressured into conforming to social conventions, he removes his hat in respect. His eyes, due to being in his hat, are also removed.]

Aye, he was a fine...uh, man.

[muppetlabs]

[Oh same hat- No eyes!]

He was one of our closest friends. I can't believe he's gone so soon.

[tobeginwith]

[So the chaotic events of that morning may have thrown a bit of a wrench into Dickens' writing plans. No matter. He'll just use the rest of the morning to rework them.

Sometime in the early afternoon, after everything's settled down, you might notice a piece of paper hanging up in the entryway. On it is a list of names, followed by a list of character archetypes:]

Kermit - The Villain
Darles Chickens (NOT ASSOCIATED WITH CHARLES DICKENS!!!) - The Hero
Camilla - ♥ The Love Interest ♥
Chef - The Martyr
Wilkins - The Mole
Boober - The Coward
Jareth - The Anti-hero
Sarah - The Revolutionary
Ditz - The Innocent
Lew - The Catalyst
Jean - The Investigator
Monty - The Rogue
Bunsen - The Analyst

[Weird.

You're free to marvel at the list and discuss it there, of course, but if you're looking for the author of the script, you're going to have to go to the bedrooms. Dickens is in his, though the door is wide open, and the entire room is covered from floor to ceiling in taped-up papers with words scrawled across them. He doesn't look up from his work, but he can probably hear you approach.]

If you're here about the cast list, no, I do not accept feedback. Good day.

[its_not_fair]

[Sarah stood, gaping at the list]

Revolutionary?! What is that supposed to mean?!

[She also wouldn't have called the chef a martyr. He was talking about world domination, after all. But she wasn't about to say that out loud]

[asksforsolittle]

It means you're a voice for change, dear Sarah. [he hasn't left her for long, save for perhaps to help take the Chef's remains out into the snow, or whatever was decided to be done. He's one of few big and strong enough to do it, after all]

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

The Rogue?

[He thinks of some kind of dashing, zorro kind of man. Which is quite a step up from the lumpy, moss-like approximation of a man that he is.]

You flatter me.

[;)]

[asksforsolittle]

It is a fine role. You made some lovely remarks at the memorial.

[sockluck]

[Well, it's pretty nice not being called a mole for once. Boober nods, taking in the list.]

So, I'm the coward, huh? Well, that's...

Absolutely true!

[It's not even an insult at this point. If anything, he's proud to be a coward - no, the coward!]

[its_not_fair]

[Well... okay. If he wants to own it, more power to him. It's a great method of self preservation. It also makes her think about Hoggle lamenting that HE was a coward. Sarah pats him on the shoulder]

One of the bravest people I've ever known was a coward.