MOCK TRIAL WEEK

[themuppeteers]

[Constantine Kermit the Frog has revealed his true motives for bringing you all here. What was once a warm and welcoming house has now become your prison, encased in five feet of snow. If it's any comfort, be glad that the heater and electricity still seem to be working. For now. Perhaps searching for an escape route would be in your best interests.

Let's just hope no one gets stir crazy and tries to kill someone else, hm?]

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY]

((ooc: this is the week log for the mock trial! tuesday-onwards is locked until the motive is posted. on friday, an investigation log will be posted, and a trial will commence on saturday (in-game friday). backtagging is encouraged! have fun!))

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MONDAY

[themuppeteers]

TUESDAY

[themuppeteers]

WEDNESDAY

[themuppeteers]

THURSDAY

[themuppeteers]

investigating the closet

[tobeginwith]

[Very early on Monday morning, you might hear strange rustling noises coming from the closet on the main floor of the house. Dickens has been in there since he'd first woken up, searching for... what is he searching for? A way out? A clue as to Kermit's motive behind his betrayal? A bazooka? Whatever it is, he's gonna find it.

After that, regardless of whether he did find anything out thanks to his searching, he's standing in the doorway between the living room and the entranceway banging pots and pans together and shouting.]

ATTENTION, EVERYONE! I HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK ALL OF YOU!

[If you approach, he'll wordlessly rip out a page from a notebook he's got with him and hand it to you. On it is a small survey to be filled out.]

NAME:
ALIGNMENT:
MOTIVATION:
TRAGIC BACKSTORY:
FATAL FLAW:
ABLE TO MONOLOGUE?: Y/N

[Dickens looks at you expectantly as he hands you a pen.]

Character profiles. Standard part of the writing process. Have to sort out the secondary characters from the protagonists and the villains and the love interests and-- you get the idea.

[themuppeteers]

[There seems to be a box of old film reels in here. Most of them are labeled things such as "FOZZIE'S 5TH BIRTHDAY PARTY :)" or "MUPPET BABY CHRISTMAS". Family relics, mostly.




Oh also there's a bazooka. For whatever reason. But there's no ammo.]

[tobeginwith]

[haha great he can play Fozzie's baby videos in front of everyone and they can mock him at the 70th annual reunion

anyways. he looks at the bazooka for a few seconds before just tossing it over his shoulder. it lands in the kitchen. just fuckin take it, Dickens has no use for it. in fact he seems pretty unsatisfied with his results in general, if the way he gives up the search immediately and starts muttering to himself is any indication.]

Stupid setting doesn't even have any hidden areas.

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

[He shoots Dickens a disgruntled look as he approaches. He roughly takes the pen and paper and scribbles out a response. Despite his outwardly attitude, he appears to have no objections to sharing some information about himself.]


NAME: MAD MONTY
ALIGNMENT: PIRATE
MOTIVATION: BOOTY
TRAGIC BACKSTORY: MEDICAL SCHOOL REJECT
FATAL FLAW: FORGETS TO COUNT TO TEN WHEN ANGRY
ABLE TO MONOLOGUE?: Y/N MAYBE


[Handing it back, he sizes the...whatever up.]

Didn't I torture you?

[tobeginwith]

[He nods to himself as he reads it over thoughtfully. Maybe a villain. Or an anti-hero. Or one of those really grudging redemption arcs when they still have an awful personality and hate everyone but they're forced to work as part of a team because of outside circumstances. He'll work on some ideas.]

Pirate, huh? I must say, your motivations line up well.

[He's mostly talking to himself. At the question, he just stares for a couple of seconds.]

...Not yet, you haven't.

[;)]

[eggciting]

[what the fuck do you expect her to do with a pen she's a chicken

but okay she'll humor him and pick it up in her beak, writing.... something down. it's all unintelligible scribbles but what else did you expect from an actual chicken, absolutely-not-gonzo.]

NAME: chhfhgh
ALIGNMENT: chfdhgke
MOTIVATION: i gh yiohg gfd
TRAGIC BACKSTORY: fgh hfhgh ghhdhghrhghdh ghh ghrhgh ghhdg hrhghk jgh hrhgk hdhgh gherhvbdhgf hrhgjhjdhf hrhg hdhgh dhgjdhfghdhgh. gfhdhghdhf ghdhghshgh dhghrhghxfh ghdhghsjrhfhg dhfhghdhfgdhg hdhgjdjgfhfh dhghehrhchgf dfhghdhjgh dhghdhgh fhghdjgh fhhshfhfh jdhrhfgjdhg, hdgfdhgfhehhghjdhgfheh fhdhghdhjrhdhg ghdjrhfghd hgfhdgh ghf g gfhdhg wshf whf th the thvhgfh hghfh jghdh ghhg. ghdhgh ghfhgh hghdhgh, ghfhgh ghfhghrjhfhfurj hg dh hgj h h h h ghfhgh.
FATAL FLAW: fhdhfhghhd
ABLE TO MONOLOGUE?: y

[and there you go]

[couldvebeenasurgeon]

I do try to keep it consistent.

[But it's hard when you're a minor side character with a handful of lines.]

No- no I know I did, because you enjoyed it! [The feeling's not supposed to be mutual, that just makes it weird.] And we all got locked up because of you.

[swedishchef]

[Well! Now isn't this interesting. The Chef quickly fills out the survey and hands it back to Charles Dickens.]

NAME: Hühëhøfëhsøhøwfühürngëd'døüëndk (Tøm)
ALIGNMENT: Chef
MOTIVATION: Tø Cøøk
TRAGIC BACKSTORY: Føød pøïsønïng
FATAL FLAW: Nønë
ABLE TO MONOLOGUE?: Y/N børk

[its_not_fair]

[She stares at the list of questions]

What is this? Alignment? Fatal Flaw? What does any of that mean? And shouldn't all of us have the same motivation: o get out of here?

[its_not_fair]

[Finding her way through a puzzle designed to confuse and kill her? Puh-leeze. This house has nothing on the Labyrinth. Sarah's determined to find some way out of here. Waking up early, she hops down the stairs to the first floor, giving a determined nod to no one in particular]

All right. There's got to be some way out of here. Things aren't always what they seem... maybe we missed something yesterday.

[With that little pep talk she starts scouring the first floor. She's methodically opening each and every cabinet and closet, looking under every piece of furniture, feeling around all the windows, and moving every knick-knack and book, trying to find some sort of secret exit.]

Re: investigating the closet

[vicholas]

[He cheerfully takes the pen to respond, using it first to scratch his back.]



NAME: LEW ZEALAND
ALIGNMENT: CLOWN
MOTIVATION: TO BE THE BEST BOOMERANG FISH PERFORMER OF ALL TIMES
TRAGIC BACKSTORY: ONCE TRIED TO PERFORM HIS INTERNATIONALLY FAMOUS BOOMERANG FISH ACT BUT HE HAD NO FISH. NO FISH AT ALL. LEW FAILED HIS PURPOSE.
FATAL FLAW: HANDSOME
ABLE TO MONOLOGUE?: Y



Here!

[He throws the pen back at Dickens.]

Re: MONDAY

[vicholas]

[Lew didn't seem to have a care in the world. Was he too positive and confident to let it ruin his day? Or was it just a very good facade? Or could it be that perhaps he was just too dumb concerned with his own stuff to realize the full extent of the situation? ...Did he know at all what was going on?]

LONG TIME NO SEE MISTER THE FROG. HOW DO YOU DO?

[themuppeteers]

[Pst. Wanna find something cool?]

[tobeginwith]

What? Enjoying torture? That doesn't sound like me at all.

[or does it?]

I don't think you've got the right author. Maybe you have me confused for Collodi.

[its_not_fair]

[Only always!]

[themuppeteers]

[While looking through the cabinets, Sarah finds a bag of jelly beans, a Muppet show t-shirt that happens to be just her size, and...a toy gun. The gun is a sad hunk of plastic that only vaguely resembles what it's supposed to be.]

[its_not_fair]

[... none of that is cool.

Well... maybe the jelly beans. She pockets those. She thinks about ditching the shirt... then realizes it might come in handy since she doesn't know how long she'll be trapped there. She leaves the toy gun out on a shelf in case anyone actually wants it.]

[tobeginwith]

[What did he expect from an actual chicken??? Pure art, of course, but not of this calibre. Her penmanship... flawless. Her eyes... as deep as every cliche metaphor ever used to describe eyes. She's stunning. And so fucking talented. She can monologue. And there's so much tragic backstory to work with.

Charles Dickens, who is absolutely not Gonzo, has never been truly awe-struck by anything other than his own writing before now. Nor has he ever met such a clear choice for the love interest of a story.]

Thank you so much for your time, Chhfhgh! [that's her name right] You wouldn't believe the inspiration your potential has provided!

[tobeginwith]

[fatal flaw: none

hm. don't like that.]

Er... good, great. Thanks. Real helpful.

[he has to confine this guy to a side character role or else they'll never be able to stop him]

[tobeginwith]

Are you kidding? Give every character the same motivation and you'll get bored within the first two chapters. No, I need to know your real motivation. What do you want? Really want?

Anyways, I thought it was all pretty straightforward. Everybody's got a flaw. Sometimes it just happens to be fatal.

[tobeginwith]

[Now this... this is protagonist material. Dickens gasps.]

Your backstory... it's so in-line with your motivation! Your flaw... it's so appealing to the audience on a visual level! And you can monologue!

[The pen just hits him in the face. He doesn't notice, too busy reading through the paper with shaking hands.]