Welcome to the 69th Muppet Family Reunion! (Plus Extended Family)

[themuppeteers]

[You received the invitation for the Muppet Family Reunion about a week ago. These reunions have become a routine thing for you and the extended Muppet Family. Whether it be by plane, car, cave tunnel, or magic, you made your way to Emily Bear's house and settled in for the night. Emily Bear was nowhere in sight to greet you, but, surely that's nothing to be worried about.

However, upon waking up, you'll find that a fierce blizzard has descended upon the house overnight--several feet of snow have piled up on the front porch, and, from the looks of it, the snow won't let up anytime soon. Not to mention the fact that Emily is still not here.

Something feels wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

You may notice a small note pinned to the wall where you slept, which reads:]

COME TO LIVING ROOM AT NOON FOR IMPORTANT FAMILY MEETING :)
[Whatever this meeting is about, you have some time to explore the house and chat with the other people gathered here.]

(ooc: Welcome to the Muppet Murder Hour mock trial week! The host NPC will show up around 5 pm est. Until then, feel free to explore the house and interact with everyone else!)

Comments

[its_not_fair]

[Well she would certainly appreciate being described as reasonable. It's a lot better than the usual descriptors used.

She looks up, confused.]

I was taking to you. You... Have constructive criticism for the ceiling?

[tobeginwith]

Sure I do. The... paint job. It's very... poorly planned out.

[He suddenly looks away from where he'd been pretending to study the ceiling intensely, focusing on the mods of this very game.]

Like a narrative in which one of the main characters isn't introduced until we pass some obligatory time requirement.

[And then he looks back at Sarah.]

But what do I know about painting ceilings?

[its_not_fair]

[She takes a moment to examine the ceiling, thinking about his strange words. Of course, it's not really any stranger than talking door knockers or helping hands, so who is he to judge.

Finally returning her gaze to him, she shrugs]

I don't know, I don't know anything about painting ceilings, either. But, um, do you know anything about this "family meeting" we're supposed to go to?

[tobeginwith]

Oh, sure. They're going to introduce the twist in the story there. Probably a new character. Or at least they will if they know anything about story structure.

[He pauses for a beat or two, remembering that he was going to try Not to talk about narrative choices to the other protagonists.]

I mean... nope! Probably just standard reunion stuff. Arts and crafts. That kind of thing.

...I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

[its_not_fair]

[She smirks, amused]

You know... You're not a very good liar. [She pauses before adding.] just some constructive criticism.

Really, though, this is all just strange. Why wait to tell us what's going on?

[tobeginwith]

What? Yes I am. Authors are the best liars.

[The level of disrespect he's faced since his arrival here is astonishing.]

And, you know, I was thinking the same thing. Why put a mandatory time restriction on the plot reveal? Just throw us into the action and let us sort it out instead. Much more compelling.

[its_not_fair]

Mmm-hmmm. [She doesn't believe you, Gonzo. Instead of arguing with his first statement she simply nods.]

Exactly what I was thinking... Except for it being compelling, of course. Why make us all wait? This is all so confusing.

[tobeginwith]

...Sure is!

[Dickens, of course, is less confused and more just judgmental about the whole setup. But he can't spoil everything he's already inferred-- it's going to be very underwhelming if none of the other guests are surprised by the twist.]

But I'm sure it's all nothing to worry about! This is all normal reunion stuff.

[its_not_fair]

[She shakes her head] No... it feels wrong. Something feels off. You must feel it, too.

[tobeginwith]

The only thing I feel is the oncoming rising action! It's all part of a typical plot progression. Which is completely standard for a reunion, I bet.

[its_not_fair]

Rising action? Plot progression? [She shakes her head] I've never heard anyone talk like that before.

[tobeginwith]

I bet you've never met a world-famous author before, either.

[its_not_fair]

[What? She looks confused]

I... can't say that I have.

[tobeginwith]

Well then that's why you've never heard anyone talk like that before. Only the best authors talk like I do. And I'm the best author here. Probably the best author anywhere, actually.

[its_not_fair]

[She laughs]

Well you certainly have enough confidence to be one. So... what's an author like you doing here?

[tobeginwith]

Oh, I'm just here to narrate. Every reunion needs a narrator or else you won't ever hear any of the exposition. I'm going to point out peoples character flaws and reveal their secret motivations and everything.

[its_not_fair]

So you're like the Greek Chorus, then.

[What? She's an actor, that resonates more with her than the whole narrator thing]

But... [She looks around] Who are you narrating to? There's no audience or anything.

[tobeginwith]

...Yeah, sure. Kind of an outdated way of looking at it but I guess that's close enough.

[At the question his eyes widen slightly (you know, as much as a Muppet's fake eyes can, anyways). Who is he narrating to? What a ridiculous question. He's narrating to you, of course.]

Isn't there?

[Yes, you. He's talking to you. The person reading his internal monologue.]

[its_not_fair]

[While the person reading his internal monologue finds this exchange hilarious and the narration very useful, Sarah only seems more confused]

Isn't there?

[She dun get it]

[tobeginwith]

[--and then suddenly he just focuses back on Sarah, as if his attention was never turned elsewhere.]

Of course there isn't. That would be ridiculous.

[its_not_fair]

[She frowns]

You're not making any sense at all.