What? I'm the author, I can't be a mole for Kermit. If anybody's a mole it's Boober. He's easily persuaded and he lives underground.

[He's filling out one of the forms as he's talking, though he's attempting to be subtle about it. Alignment: Protagonist? Fatal flaw: Rebels against the narrative.]

And I'm not unreliable! You can't judge me without reading my work, I'm just here to organize your flaws and motivations for structural purposes! I'll only reveal them when it's narratively convenient. What kind of half-rate novelist do you take me for?